it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found your dick twin last night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
