It's Friday. Sex?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
