id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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