one might say we're banned from that church
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
