He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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