i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
