Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
