No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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