this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
