i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
