I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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