We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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