My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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