we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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