it hurts more in the daytime
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I got inside last night via doggy door
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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