ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
