her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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