So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
