Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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