This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
