So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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