I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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