i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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