I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
