Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
