I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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