Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
