Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
