he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
