It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
