end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
