I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Mom said you looked used
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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