I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
