I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
