wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
