I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
