omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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