Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
