He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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