Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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