he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
