Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize