just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
