he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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