No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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