There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
