dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
