I bet he comes in French.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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