Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
