Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
