It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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