It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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