real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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