I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
